Still here….

Just thought I’d update with a little note…

I’m here. No spotting since the two little episodes Thursday. And still with my minimal symptoms of sore ta-tas, veins, a stuffy nose and daytime fatigue and nighttime tossing and turning.

It’s weird. I’m very happy. But I’m scared. And it all doesn’t seem real. Well, my bigger than normal fup seems real. Seriously, everyone is posting their pretty belly shots with this gentle sloping. Me? I’ve got like a double belly thing. The above belly button belly apparently and my fup. I’ll have to be like six months before the two become one or something…

But I am just waiting for August. It can’t be here soon enough. I want this sooo badly. And last week scared the crap out of me so it’s all about the cautious optimism. And an entirely random rambling post too…

Alright, I need to get to work. I’m in the twilight zone as of late and my work eithic is in the potty.

Update. Friday.

So there has been no spotting today. And the amount yesterday was really small. It’s just, dammit. I want this SOOOO badly. I know you all know this. It’s just so hard.

And I don’t mean to be that kind of pregnant lady who freaks out over everything. It’s just I don’t have all the pukey symptoms, so when something like this happens it makes my world stand still.

Thanks for your continued love and support.

Spotting. Cue freak out 5,642

When do I get the totally uneventful, normal pregnancy?

I had a little spotting this morning. Just brown. Nothing heavy. But any sort of spotting puts me over the edge. I know this. And I know the reasons why.

The nurse thankfully helped ease my fears and told me its normal. It could be a subchrionic bleed that’s developed since last week or my cervix being irritated from my suppositories.

Of course, there are no appointments available for the nurse to see me next week. She only is in on Thursdays and Fridays, and Thursday of next week is booked and Friday is the 4th… So I have an appointment on the 10th. My OBGYN visit is the 15th.

Waiting until then… Uggh. What hell. I’m just trying to remain calm, cool and horizontal.

Please continue to think good thoughts for us and the little bean.

Seven

Today marks seven weeks… Only 33 more to go, right?

Uggh. I just wish I had more puketastic symptoms so I could be assured that everything was going ok. I guess I will just have to trust that everything is going to plan. Or insist on daily ultrasounds.

It still really hasn’t sunk in yet. I think I was in such shock on Thursday that I didn’t stare long enough at that beating, flickering heartbeat.

But on Friday I was surprised by a call from my RE. He just wanted to say congrats and that everything is looking great and he hopes that we come visit them. He is sooo sweet. But I did mention I was disappointed that I’d have to do the whole seaweed stick again…

Oh the sacrifices a hoo-hah makes.

Otherwise I am here. I have some worries, naturally I think, but I’m trying to be positive. And I’m happy. Although, really I still don’t quite believe this is happening.

Best. Ultrasound. Ever.

Well, that is, best so far.

I was shaking when I was waiting for the tech. I was shutting my eyes too when she put the wand in. And then she said the magic words…

“There’s your baby.”

I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it.

There was a perfect little blob with a perfect flickering heartbeat.

I’m still in shock.

Our little bub is measuring a day ahead at 6w3d and has a healthy heartbeat of 125.

I didn’t start crying until I hugged my husband. I am so happy. And still in shock. I feel really good. Just veiny, sore boobies, stuffy nose and the fatigue that hits me at noon. This of course had me worried. But too, I couldn’t help but think back to our previous losses.

But I am so very thankful. I’m still crossing my fingers and hoping the second trimester hurries up.