Now what?

So now what do I do?

I’m at a loss. I don’t quite believe I’ve got a little widget or two growing inside. Then I do my hourly breast grope and their crazy soreness reminds me that indeed I am.

I am still though wishing I had more symptoms. Just to make it seem real. I have a stuffy nose. And these really creepy blue veins showing on my pelvic area. Otherwise, nothing.

I did pee on a stick this morning, just because I am that way. (And yes, still two blue lines on the crappily-made Ri.te A.id pee sticks.)

This waiting till ultrasound is horrible. I can only imagine its going to be this way through the entire pregnancy. Waiting for the next big milestone. I don’t like waiting. But it’s all worth it. Or so I keep telling myself and my belly.

Beta #2 *Updated*

All I can say is phew!

I really wasn’t worried about the beta today, or at least I didn’t admit it to myself. Then once I got to the clinic, started talking to Denise – then I got freaked. Not because of anything she said, just the reality of what I was about to do. It didn’t help when the lab gal said people always seem more freaked out by the second beta. Thanks.

And then they didn’t call till 1 p.m.

But it was 114, which is nearly doubling. And according to Dr. Google and everything else, beta should double every 48-72 hours, which I’m in the window of. So, I am happy. I may have a little beta jealousy of all those other gals out there with BFP with big fat betas. But I try to remind myself, even with the ectopic, my little numbers kept on doubling. And its not the number that counts, just that its doubling, and the ultrasound is waaay more important.

Eek. It still seems unreal.

And I have nary a symptom. Just a stuffy nose and some mild heartburn.

*Updated*

Since several of you asked, I go in on Wednesday for an estrogen/progestrone check. From there, they will decide on adjusting my patches and suppositories. I didn’t yet ask about the u/s, since I am still a little more than a week out, according to the CCRM info on pregnancy they gave me. They schedule an u/s 2 1/2 weeks after beta #1. Or I was supposed to call them on my own and don’t know it. I figure I can ask Wednesday when the nurse calls. Thanks again for such warm, sticky and positive thoughts! 

Finally…

So when my doctor called instead of my nurse, I knew something was up.

And then he asked if I wanted the good news or the better news.

I told him both.

Unlike last time, my progesterone and estrogen levels are great. And even better, I’m pregnant. My beta today was 61. So in my unmedically trained opinion that equals a singleton. But I go in again for beta No. 2 Saturday.

I’m still shaking and excited. I just want this little one to grow, grow, grow, the numbers to double, triple and more.

I’m so overwhelmed. Speechless and amazed.

Thanks to each of you for helping me along this journey I’ve only just begun.

I’m still waiting.

Seriously. It’s 2 p.m. I’m dying to know. My stomach feels like its on fire.

They probably lost my results or something. Aaargh!

How Now Brown Cow?

First, I want to thank all of you who made such positive comments during my minimeltdown.

The ectopic has left me scarred. When I saw the brown blood, I immediately flashed to last time, when it quickly went from brown to bright red. I felt barren and silly for thinking it would work this time around.

Imagine my surprise, when all I spotted Monday was light brown. Yesterday, a scant drop here or there and today it is just the usual prometrium yuck.

I don’t want to get my hopes too high or too low. So I’m still crossing everything and am so thankful all of you are still thinking good thoughts for me as well.

And I haven’t peed on a stick. Nor do I plan to before tomorrow’s beta. I figure I’ve waited this long…

But thank you again. Keep thinking sticky. And good luck to all my fellow cyclesistas going through the wait with me.