LEEPs and bounds…

I’d like to think I’m like any other girl – but my barren womb tells me different. Our “journey” seems already too long but really it’s just beginning.

In February 2006, we began speaking with a genetic counselor and a doctor specializing in genetics to pinpoint my hubby’s specific gene mutation, which caused his OI (osteogenesis imperfecta, better known as brittle bone disease). Blood was drawn, checks were written and a lab was chosen that would get back to us in six weeks. By December, I was frustrated with results of “unknown significance.” So I called up a university specializing in OI, which within a week had analyzed my hubby’s DNA as well as his parents’ and sister’s to pinpoint the mutation.

Finally, we could start what we intended. Preimplantation genetic testing. 

Controversial? Yes. We are selecting to test embryos and only implant those that don’t have his mutation. However,  as OI has a 50-50 chance of being passed on, we didn’t want our child to have to suffer through a myriad of broken bones, having blue sclera, brittle teeth, etc., which my hubby has endured. And my hubby is one of the lucky ones. He’s 5’10 and has only fractured 18 bones… Lucky right? So we began talking with a clinic capable of performing PGD. Everything is looking good. His sperm count is above normal, my FSH level is at a 5….

Oh, wait, you had an abnormal pap. The first abnormal pap in your life. But not any abnormal pap. One with high-grade dysplasia. Let’s do a LEEP. Yay! Let’s wait three more months to do a pap and see if you are normal. Yay!

So here I sit spotting four hours after having part of my cervix permanently removed. Trying to embrace the positive thinking of “The Secret,” which my friend swears by one minute and curses the next. Yeah, it’s not as tragic as some stories of infertility but it being my life, of course, it feels pretty crappy when your best friend is six months along and you have the uncanny ability to attract pregnant women to sit next to you on the ride home… I hate being jealous and covetous but what can wannabe mama do?

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