I am…

For whatever reason, the universe did not want me to go to work today.

She made it clear when yesterday I woke up with pinkeye.  And no, I haven’t been playing in any giant ball room germ-ridden thingy at a McDonald’s play area, I think it’s just allergic conjunctivitis. Yes, that is sooo much better!

But me, with my super awesome work ethic (ha) and, honestly, the need to proof our publication, I decided to drive into downtown to work anyway. I was only going to stay long enough to read pages and scare coworkers with my stunning combination of no makeup and glasses.

The universe – specifically my car – had other ideas. I roll down the window to get a ticket for the parking garage. The window won’t roll up. It won’t roll down. All the other windows work but the driver’s side. Um. I can’t leave my car in a downtown parking garage half down. Granted, my radio is the factory issued one and the only cds I have in there are a random collection of Abba, Lil’Kim and Matthew Sweet. So yes, nothing worth stealing. But my luck today? You know I’d find the random thief who has exactly my music tastes (or is it a lack thereof?).

So I do a drive-by of my office, where my coworker hands me some flats to proof and I then drive to meet my hubby at the car shop to drop of my piece-of-shiat. After I froze all the way there with the half-open window, of course I try to roll it up. It does.

Anyway, I still left it there so they could look at the misbehaving window and fix the rear end to my SUV that hasn’t opened in like a year. I don’t want to tempt fate any more today.

So, without further ado…

I Am…

I am not whole
I am not half
But I am somewhere in between

I am a wife, a friend, a daughter and a sister
Yet I still feel incomplete

I am afraid of never achieving my ultimate dream
Being a mom is all I want to be

I am trying to put on a brave face and say it will be alright
Although I worry about my uterus every day and every night

I am still a dreamer, though, who keeps hope alive
There will be one day when my arms are not empty
My womb is not bare
My heart not aching for what is not there

I am a just a girl who longs to be a mama

I am, that’s me

Tag, you’re it…
All I need is one good egg
Maybe Baby
The Opposite of Knocked Up
Sticky Bean


4 Responses to “I am…”

  1. Matthew M. F. Miller Says:

    “I am just a girl who longs to be a mama” is a beautiful, heartfelt statement.

    I’m so sorry you’ve got pinkeye – I had it twice last year, for some unknown reason. I’m a clean guy, but apparently I play with my eyes too much.

    Get well soon, poet.

  2. Somewhat Ordinary Says:

    Your poem is awesome! Thanks for participating and I am so sorry about the shitty day you had.

  3. Mary Ellen Says:

    Your poem is awesome! I wish I could be so creative…

    Sorry about the pinkeye. That sucks. I hope it’s better soon!

  4. K Says:

    Ack! I’m only just now seeing that I was “tagged”! How rude! Apologies. I saw Samantha’s ‘tag’ first, but I will go back and add a link to you as well on my “I Am” post. And by the way, I love the “I’m just a girl who longs to be a mama.” line – it made me cry! I’ve always called my own mother, “mama,” and I intend for my children to call me “mama” some day too.

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