And a lifetime to go…

Yesterday, the hubby and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary and eight years of togetherness (quick movers aren’t we?) with an over indulgent dinner at our local Melting Pot. Really there is nothing like a bunch of hot fondue on a 97 degree day in Colorado, don’t ya think?

Our dinner topic ranged from what was new at work to the annoying guy at the next table who kept mentioning to the waitress he was Italian.

We also talked about going forward with IVF.

And it struck me as so interesting as we conversed about me and needing a clear pap to go forward. He said, “So that is all we are waiting for, right?” And it was the inclusion of WE that struck me. It isn’t that we aren’t or haven’t been a we in this whole process but I have felt a lot of guilt for being the person holding up the spending of our yet-to-be-made life savings.

Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised me but for whatever reason it made my anniversary. It made me more convinced that us, together, doing this whole getting pregnant in a test tube thing was the right thing to do.

It also is funny to hear him talk about the pregnancy process to other people. He has no qualms, no shame, which I think I do, about telling anyone about what we are doing to get pregnant. That isn’t to say he just strikes up random conversations at the grocery store but when someone he knows asks, he tells.

Saturday night, he was talking to a couple of our female friends at a party about it. Mind you, they each offered their wombs to me later, which then I had to clarify that wasn’t our problem. Maybe, too, my husband shouldn’t explain it to ladies who have drunk too much wine either… But it is so funny how my hubby will tell anyone about it, without embarrassment, whereas I am a little more guarded and reserved in discussing it so openly.

Maybe it’s because I am the one who isn’t so positive or convinced we will get pregnant and he is… It goes along with his nonbelief in stress and that he swears he doesn’t get or has ever had a headache.

As for that pap, it is coming up soon. I don’t want to say when because I am afraid of getting negative results back, or jinxing it, or something else entirely ridiculous. See, Miss Negative Jen. When we first started with our RE, I thought nothing of sending my pap results. I had always had normal results so I thought it would be a cakewalk. I never imagined it would be the four-month wait-and-see it has become.

So, now as the speculum date draws near, I’m afraid to have too much hope, too much optimism. My OBGYN thinks everything will be fine and that she got everything yucky. I am not so sure. I am just waiting for her to tell me it’s not ok. I hope it will be like the HSG, where I think the worst and it turns out alright.

See, there’s me hoping again…

*I am a proud participant in this week’s Commenthon.*

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4 Responses to “And a lifetime to go…”

  1. Serenity Says:

    Happy anniversary! I LOOOOOOVE fondue, I think it’s a fantastic way to celebrate your wedding anniversary. 🙂

    And here’s hoping that you get good results and can move forward soon.

  2. michelle Says:

    Happy Anniversary! Mike and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the melting pot. We used to go for our birthdays…haven’t been in a year though.

  3. Somewhat ordinary Says:

    Girl, I love your ring!!

    It is pretty cool when the husband takes an active part of the we in this whole treatment thing!

  4. Jenna Says:

    I love that picture. It’s beautiful. My husband and I took our relationships through 6 long years before we got married!
    I’m glad you got that great feeling that you husband is totally invested in the process. Sounds like you’ve got a good one!

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