Imposter Jesus

The other night I had the craziest dream. My husband and I were in Italy, where we were going to visit Jesus. Now, it wasn’t really Jesus. I knew this in my dream. But Imposter Jesus. He looked exactly how I thought Jesus looked in my mind but not like with the long hair or anything…

So there is Imposter Jesus, standing behind this lectern offering blessings. I go for a blessing and he blesses me. Then he blesses my belly. And the blessing my belly part might have happened in my redreaming of this dream, I do that if I don’t like the outcome of a dream, I get mulligans. It’s a little fuzzy though when it happened. But my belly was blessed and I knew that mean Imposter Jesus could sense the impending life there.

So how’s that for blasphemous?

In real life I’m struggling. I cried at work yesterday. My coworker who knows was asking questions and I just said I’d be devestated if we weren’t pregnant because I didn’t want to disapoint the myriad people who know. Then I went home and just cried to my hubby about the same fears. I so want to be pregnant. And it just doesn’t feel like I am. Not that I know the feeling mind you but… It didn’t help I asked my friend who’s currently on her third pregnancy and she said she knew immediately. Thanks.

I’m not puking. I’m tired but that could be me just PMSing and hoping. I am crazy burping but not constipated. I have occassional heartburn but that could be the lemon poppyseed muffins.

I am just hoping. I talk to my belly all the time. And then get all teary when I tell them how honored I’d be to be their mama. And I have absolutely no motivation at work. Zilch. But then I’m afraid for the beta and what it might bring.

 I’m rooting for Imposter Jesus.

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10 Responses to “Imposter Jesus”

  1. christina Says:

    oh man, that’s too bad. i’m sorry. i’m rooting for IJ too. ; )

  2. Amy R Says:

    I’m the same exact way. I talk to my belly every time I’m alone; even in the car. And then I start to cry. Talking to bellies and crying while driving I’m sure are no-no’s but it’s not listed that way in the DMV booklet, so it’ll probably continue. And thanks for the comment on my post…you just gave me the best word in the whole wide world. CHEESEDICK. I love it. I’m going to borrow it from you for the future. xoxoxo

  3. Becks Says:

    Sounds like you have some good symptoms going on….fingers crossed for you.

  4. Mary Ellen Says:

    I am rooting for you!

  5. Erica Says:

    I’m rooting for you too! All I can tell you is, I had no symptoms at all during my 2WW, and I had a happy outcome. I’m really hoping the same for you.

  6. Pamala Says:

    Crazy dreams are often a sign of pregnancy! I had no idea I was pregnant. I didn’t feel pregnant until well into my second trimester. Don’t worry about not feeling anything. Heck I didn’t get sick until 12 weeks in. So I think you have a great chance!

  7. Erin Says:

    I’m going crazy myself. Not only do I talk to my Wonder Twins, but I’ve taken to looking down the collar of my shirt to say hi. FREAK!

    I will be hoping that your dream will come true (or at least the pregnancy part)!

  8. Kristen Says:

    I really hope that dream proves to be true! I’ve got everything crossed for you that those babies stay nice and snug.

    XOXO

  9. topcat Says:

    Wow … I love hearing about dreams! I’m rooting for Imposter Jesus too! xo

  10. Rella Says:

    I’ve taken HPTs at 6dp5dt with success – very faint line that 3 days later gave a beta of 122 and much brigter second HPT line. Use one of the more sensitive tests (I like F.irst Res.ponse)

    good luck. it seems that if it doesn’t work this time, it will work soon.

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