Still empty… still bitching

I had yet again an ultrasound.

Again nothing discernible. The mass is “very, very small” and could be nothing.

So I am waiting for yesterday afternoon’s beta results to see if they have plateaued, fallen or risen. They haven’t even reached the 1,000 mark, where you could actually see something on an ultrasound.

The IVF nurse said we had to let mother nature do her thing. “We’ve seen stranger things.” The gals in the lab, who drew my blood, when I told them that, “Well, if mother nature did her thing, you wouldn’t be here.”

I get that they don’t want to do surgery or whatever when they can’t even visualize what is happening. But seriously. It’s seven weeks. No nothing in the uterus. I don’t think a baby is spontaneously going to appear.

I just want closure. Not this continued limbo. This isn’t fair to me or my husband. I understand they aren’t purposefully jerking me around but come on. This seems really ridiculous.

And it’s only compounded by the fact tomorrow is my birthday. Yay. I’ll be 32 and this decidedly will have to be the worst birthday ever. Like the worst Christmas ever, when I was 13 and Santa left my first period as a present.


6 Responses to “Still empty… still bitching”

  1. Serenity Says:

    Hang in there sweetie. I am hoping that your beta starts to fall.

    I am a littlw worried that they don’t seem to be doing much to help it along – clearly this is not a uterine pregnancy – wouldn’t they think about a shot of methrodexate for you?

    UGH. This totally sucks… and it’s so unfair you have to deal with the long and drawn out pain. May this be resolved soon so you can move on.

    Thinking of you.

  2. singletracey Says:

    I would agree with serenity and the methotrexate shot. That is what they did to me and my experience is very similiar to what you are going through. After my second ultrasound when nothing spontaniously appreared and my beta from that day went up again, I went in for the shot that afternoon. I know each scenario is different though… I just want this to be over for you and hubby… 😦 BIG HUGS

  3. christina Says:

    good grief! you poor thing. yeah, you’re right CRAPPY birthday presant. i am so sorry.

  4. Mary Ellen Says:

    I am sorry that this is happening, and I am definitely with Serenity on this one. Hang in there sweetie.

  5. SJ Says:

    Yuck, yuck! Isn’t it frustrating how advanced this medicine is, how much can be controlled, yet sometimes it’s all just mysterious and waiting? Hang in there, okay? And do whatever you can to enjoy your birthday.

  6. Pamala Says:

    I’m a little surprised they aren’t doing anything to help it along to get it over with. When I was 7 weeks along my doctor thought basically the same thing you’re going through. There was nothing, no growth, etc and wanted to give me a shot but first she had to make sure, which I’m glad they did because Kaylee was alive and well in there. But my numbers were raising like the should, my doctor was just a idiot.
    When you see them next perhaps you can ask them if they can give you the shot, so that this can be over with.

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