Falling

How funny it is that for weeks I kept everything crossed that my numbers would rise, rise and rise. And now, I can only hope they plummet.

My second HCG revealed a 22 percent drop, which means I still have to be vigilant for the sudden pain, the shoulder pain, the nausea, etc., however, I don’t go back until this Friday. I hope, by then, maybe this pregnancy will have resolved itself.

In the meantime, I am not sure what to do with myself. I had planned long ago to take this week off from work. I had been hoping to start looking at maternity things. I am not sure what I will do now. I know I will try hard not to cry, which so often happens when I am alone with my thoughts, self doubt and pity…

I am glad I had that hope though. The hope that I would be pregnant. I am going to try hard to regain that in the weeks to come. I was pregnant. It just wasn’t in the right spot. My world isn’t over, no matter how dramatic I make it seem. I always can try again. And I have to remember to have hope.

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5 Responses to “Falling”

  1. Rachel Says:

    I’m so sorry. It’s just so hard.

  2. singletracey Says:

    Hey you.. just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.. I know how hard this all is on you. BIG HUGS….

  3. christina Says:

    i know you’ll be ok, but it stiil sucks and it is waaay unfair.
    it also sucks that you have to take a break, but i bet after all this you need one…i would.
    thinking of you.
    oxoxo

  4. peesticksandstones Says:

    I totally have no idea how to cope with it all, but wanted you to know I was thinking about you! Take care… and get yourself some fabulous un-maternity clothes. You totally deserve to feel good.

  5. maryellenandsteve Says:

    I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is so unfair. I hope that your numbers fall quickly. Hugs.

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