The “regroup” appointment

So next Tuesday I have my appointment with my doctor. Deep breaths. I am just hoping to have positive information on where we go from here.

Now, I am turning to you. Are there questions I should ask of him that I am not thinking of regarding this assumed ectopic pregnancy?

Here is my current list of questions, or at least what I can think of right now:

  • Why did this happen?
  • How can this happen?
  • Are there any ways we can prevent it?
  • Were there any indications that this would happen?
  • What are our options going forward?
  • Do we have any options?
  • How soon can we start again?
  • What is your recommendation for us?
  • How frequently does this happen with IVF?
  • What is the likelihood of recurrance?
  • Do we need to look into having a surrogate?
  • Did egg quality/embryo quality play a role in this happening?
  • Is there an issue with my uterus that could cause this?

I just feel so lost with the whole situation and that I did something wrong in my past to make this my current reality. I hope I get some answers and some closure. A simple no would have been SO MUCH easier than this.


6 Responses to “The “regroup” appointment”

  1. peesticksandstones Says:

    This sounds like a great list — I hope you’re able to get everything answered.

    And there is noooo way any of this is because of something you did wrong in your past (though I can totally relate to that feeling).

    I know it’s such a cheesy thing to say, but keep hanging in there!

  2. Becks Says:

    Sounds like you have a good list there. I can imagine that you feel like a simple no would have been better, but I am hoping the doctor will say that it is a good thing that you got pregnant. Thinking of you.

  3. Kate Says:

    Hello. I just happened across your website. I am so very sorry for your loss.
    I myself have had two ectopics, which is why I am posting. I just wanted to let you know, its nothing you did. You may never know why it happened – it just does sometimes. There is absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent it. There are sometimes no medical indications as to why it happens. I had an HSG – all clear. I had a lap – and my tubes, uterus, ovaries, etc. ALL COMPLETELY NORMAL – yet twice… TWICE I had ectopics. *^%$#
    My Dr. said there could be these microscopic holes in my tubes that somehow “catch” the embryo – or I could just have supremely bad luck. Whoopie! But, dont give up hope. I was able to finally have a normal pregnancy (through IVF). It is rare for IVF to result in ectopics, so your chances are excellent for success on a subequent try. Hang in there. Big hugs, I am so sorry you are going through this.

  4. meg Says:

    Good luck to you at your appt. I am a new reader to your blog… thanks for having me. I would think in IVF it would be unlikely to have an ectopic, so chances are good it won’t happen again. I am so sorry you are having to go through everything to get to your baby. Good luck to you in your journey. Feel free to check out my blog too.

  5. Mary Ellen Says:

    That is a great list. I hope that you are able to get some answers love.

  6. millie Says:

    I think this is a great list and look forward to hearing what your doctor has to say.

    I’d also ask about starting you on Folgard asap. Now that your beta is down it should be safe.

    And I’d ask how this will change how they monitor you in the future (more betas? earlier ultrasound? etc).

    My doctors have told me that it’s mostly bad luck. At least that’s how they explained my first ectopic. The second one, well, that could be because I had the first one. Unfortunately once you’ve had one, that becomes a risk factor. And ivf itself is a risk factor (personally I think it’s because they’re putting back embryos into the uterus when they’re just not supposed to be there yet).

    But there’s nothing at all that you did that caused this. And there is a particular hell that goes with the limbos, trying to live between blood draws, not able to move forward. I totally agree with you on that.

    Best of luck with the doc.

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