Next week…

When I met with my doctor, I was ready to hop on the next babymaking train.

It’s not to say I’m not eager or ready this time. Or not willing to start up with BCPs next week. It’s just, I’m scared.

It never crossed my mind with our first try it would end ectopic. I thought it would be either a yes or a no. But never ectopic. Never having to know the exact time a pregnancy ends, penciled in on a calendar at a specific time.

I don’t want to have to go through that again. And there is no way I can prevent it. There is nothing I did to cause it. But I can’t keep that doubt, that fear it can happen again from nagging at me.

So I am trying to push it to the back of my mind.

So it’s all about positive thoughts going forward. And, apparently, a really random post.

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2 Responses to “Next week…”

  1. Road Blocks and Roller Coasters Says:

    I think it is normal to be afraid to start trying again. I know that after my m/c in July that I thought for sure I’d want to start trying right away, but when the time came I was really terrified on a number of levels. Part of it was having to deal with doctors, drugs, blood work, and endless appointments. The other part of it was the fear of it happening again and being even more devastated by it. I can’t say that that fear ever gets better, since I still feel it at this very moment. But like with everything else, its a risk. Just like falling in love–you are putting your heart on the line in hopes that it will work out without the certainty that it absolutely will.

    I hope and pray that this next cycle works for you and I’ll be sending all the positive thought vibes I can you way! HUGS!

  2. singletracey Says:

    There is tons of fear going in on #2 when #1 ended bad. I totally understand you there girl! Lets make #2 work and make some babies!! GOOD THOUGHTS from here on out my dear…

    T~

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