Spot, spot

So I was doing ok yesterday until there was a streak of pink on the TP. Then I lost it crying.

I am doing better today. The spotting isn’t really much if anything and no pink except another fleck of it this morning on TP, which made me freak out but after a fingering provided nothing but prometrium goo. I tried to calm down.

And I am trying to remain calm. It’s just so hard. Then I worry that my boobs aren’t as sore as they were on Tuesday. I just have all these crazy fatalistic thoughts running through my mind.

And I know I haven’t gone through nearly the pain and suffering some in IF land unfortunately have.

It just sucks any of of us have to do this. Oh how I wish to be blissfully unawares. But I’m not. I’m constantly checking my panties hoping to see nothing. I’m trying to breathe.

Tuesday can’t come soon enough.

Sorry to be such a downer. I am trying to smile and remember it will work. Thanks for putting up with me…


14 Responses to “Spot, spot”

  1. Lori Says:

    Breathing and hoping with you.

    So hoping for good news when I see you!

  2. She Likes Purple Says:

    We’re thinking of you. You have to wait until Tuesday to go to the doctor? They won’t see you today?

  3. bleu Says:

    I am right there with you. I do get the u/s today but I am sick to my stomach with fear waiting for 1pm to roll around.

    The boobs less sore thing has been making me nuts this week too, I think it is normal.

    Sending you much love and light.

  4. Denise Says:

    I don’t understand why they wouldn’t be able to see anything if they checked today versus on Tuesday. Shouldn’t they at least be able to see a sac or two? Maybe call Jennifer back and ask. Sometimes tears are helpful in getting what you want out of them. I’m not suggesting you freak out on them, but, I’m just sayin.

  5. Kristina Says:

    I’ll be counting down the days with you. I know that with my 3rd pregnancy I spent every 30 minutes checking my underpants until I hit the 12 week mark. Every little gurgle of fluid sent me into hysterics. Hang in there – I’m thinking of you.

  6. singletracey Says:

    oh gosh! Just catching up my dear.. fuckity fuck fuck. I am going to ansty alongside you these next few days.. BUT.. I will keep being positive and praying and thinking good thoughts for you. You do deserve this.. And just like we were talking the other day.. being blissfily unaware would be heaven… This is going to be okay sweetie.. I know it.


  7. millie Says:

    Wouldn’t it be nice to be just blissfully naive right now?

    I’m thinking good thoughts for you and hoping you get great news on Tuesday. And that you have a quiet, uneventful (at least regarding toilet paper and such) weekend.

  8. Erica Says:

    I hope this weekend goes quickly. It feels like the whole IF battles is nothing but an endless wait. Sending good thoughts and prayers that everything is just fine!

  9. Sue Says:

    I’ll be thinking of you over the weekend and wishing you the best next week!

  10. Timea Says:

    Hi. I just came across your blog. I was in your shoes almost exactly to the date 2 years ago and now I have a healthy 18 month old boy. I spotted a lot of brown, some pink and sometimes red blood in my first trimester. I hated it so much. I wished my body would give me a break already ( I got pg on IUI # 4 or 5 ). I hated the fertiles that never had to go through this. I went from worrying constantely about not being able to get pregnant, enjoyed a brief euphoric period when I found out I was pg and then went back to constant worrying. But then the spotting eventually stopped and everything was okay. I really wish the same for you. Get through these days somehow ( I know it’s hard ).

    All the best


  11. Rebecca Says:

    My OB told me that the spotting can sometimes be brought on by the progesterone supplements (something they don’t tell you) and also by the uterus stretching and expanding to accommodate your new family member. I am still freaked, but it did stop when I went off the meds. Good luck and just keep telling yourself that you’re growing for your baby!

  12. Ahuva Batya Says:

    Thinking of you, and hoping you have strength to get through the wait.

  13. Road Blocks and Roller Coasters Says:

    Hoping and praying for you, darlin’. If it makes you feel any better, my sister spotted and bled straight through her first trimester and she is 8 months pregnant. I know seeing anything on the TP is awful (trust me, I know), but hope is not lost. Hang in there. Tuesday will be here before you know it.


  14. Nancy Says:

    hey – i’m hoping all is well – you go ahead and update us, okay??

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