My Eggs Aren’t Scrambled

Or poached, fried or hard boiled.

Indeed, if I am to believe my well-educated, highly trained doctor, my eggs are perfectly fine. It’s just the same can’t be said about my luck.

At least, my luck with pregnancies.

And as for that last pregnancy, my beta is in the negative range. It’s a little bittersweet to know how quickly my levels fell but it also makes me think that my ectopic pregnancy had a good embryo in the wrong spot, as it took longer and medical intervention to fall. Whether or not there is any scientific merit to this though, has yet to be seen…

I really feel bad for Dr. G and having to put up with me. Every meeting we have I come armed with questions and kleenex. I told him the next time he sees me I won’t cry. He laughingly said he doesn’t believe me. Or that I’m only allowed tears of joy.

But I really do heart him, though. He doesn’t make me feel like an idiot for asking the questions – like if I need a surrogate or donor – I ask. And with every answer, I feel a little bit of hope return. Don’t get me wrong, this sucks like nothing has ever sucked before. But I really feel like he cares and wants to see us to the other side.

At our most recent regroup, my questions were focused on the quality of my eggs and doing genetic screening in addition to genetic diagnosis.

As for my eggs, he outright said my hubby and I are fertile. There is nothing abnormal, odd, anything about our numbers, including AMH, which I had him clarify for me. The Anti Mullerian Hormone gobble-de-gook basically is a measure of ovarian reserve and anything above a 1, at least in CCRM measurements, is good. So me and my 2.2 are fine.

I asked about my now 37-year-old hubby. He said we didn’t have to worry about his fertility until age 45. Please God do not let us be doing this another eight years.

So it comes down to small percentages. Being on the bad side of statistics.

He laughed when I asked what other potentially weird things are out there that have a statistically small chance of happening so I could prepare myself. Sadly, I think I was only half kidding.

But medically he doesn’t recommend us getting PGS in addition to PGD. Dr. G explained it in a far better way than I am about to but PGS for aneuploidy tests only 11 out of 23 chromosomes and because of my age (32), I’m not at an increased risk. Furthermore, he said if we opt to do PGS, we will further decrease the number of embryos to put back as one cell might suggest an embryo is faulty when in reality it’s not as there is research, including a current study by CCRM, seeing if cells have the ability to correct themselves.

So, as of right now, we are leaning to not have PGS done.

The protocol for this next fresh cycle will be like my first. But before we can start, I get to have a hysteroscopy to make sure I’m all tidy inside and have the *awesome* laminaria inserted again. As well, my stim meds will be lower so I don’t ripen so early, which will hopefully allow for a greater number of eggs to be harvested as often if they stop the meds like they did with me, some of the follicles fall by the wayside.

There was other chit-chat, including the fact he doesn’t recommend transferring three embryos or with my luck I would have sextuplets, my spotting at 11dpo may or may not happen again and doesn’t mean pregnant or not and I joked that it’s like saving money now that we did shared risk.

And with a hug and wishes of good luck, I was off.

So now I wait for the details from my nurse of what we need to do to start again. I think by the end of this, I am going to name one of my children Godot.



14 Responses to “My Eggs Aren’t Scrambled”

  1. Katie Says:

    All in all it sounded like a good appt.! I have only cried in front of one doc and that was my OB….I wouldn’t dare do it in front of my RE (but that is simply because he is the way he is….not that I don’t *want* to cry to him sometimes).

    Keeping my fingers crossed for a wonderful next cycle with a statistically happy ending =)

  2. Becks Says:

    Sounds like you have a nice caring Doc. So glad you have a plan and I do think it’s a matter of when not if.

  3. Serenity Says:

    It all sounds positive… other than the “you have bad luck with your pregnancies part.” That part sucks. 😦

    I’m glad though that you’re taking hope from your doc. Because there’s no reason to think that this won’t work for you.

    Fingers crossed that the next cycle is the one, hon.

  4. Ahuva Batya Says:

    Your doctor sounds very compassionate and patient, and that makes this whole awful process just a tiny bit more bearable. I’m glad he is working with you with a good plan. I will be hoping for your next cycle to be the one that finally bucks your odds ,and gets on the “right” side of luck.

  5. JJ Says:

    Im glad he spent so much time with you–and it does sound very positive. I just hate that luck part has not been on your side.
    Tag. You’re it (if you want to be =0) )

  6. bestlight Says:

    Godot is a catchy name. Let’s hope most of the wait is behind you.

    (May I suggest “Gildenstern” as a middle name?)

    You’re due some good statistics. You know, the $30 million lottery kind.

  7. maryanne Says:

    I also love Dr.G – he had to put up with me when I had my rupturing ectopic and he handled it with care, compassion, and was ALWAYS there if I had questions (and he is not even my main RE). I am glad he is there for you and as my RE said – “well, at least we know you responded well to the meds, made it to transfer, and did get pregnant – just in the wrong spot” – as much as it does suck to hear those words ( I did not like them), but there is loads of encouragement for a positve outcome possible your next cycle!!! GL!!!

  8. maria Says:

    I heart your doctor too! He seems like he truly cares.

    Being infertile means we all fall in the bad side of statistics. I just really sucks.

  9. SaraS-P Says:

    I can never decide which is worse – having a culprit and being told all is fine. Either way… no baby is no baby.

    I hope you luck changes and takes full advantage of your fertility.

    (BTW – my hubby is 43. I don’t like that age 45 deadline)

  10. Road Blocks and Roller Coasters Says:

    Nothing beats a supportive, knowledgeable, and caring RE who wants to see you successful as much as you want to achieve success. I am thinking of you and always praying for the best for you!!! 🙂

  11. peesticksandstones Says:

    Sounds like such a great visit — well, you know, as far as regroup visits go, of course. I had not even heard of PGS before.

    Sigh… I totally know what you mean about not wanting to be doing this for several more years. Yikes. Hang in there, though. You really inspire me and keep me going, too!

  12. Sue Says:

    Sounds like you have an awesome RE. Like him, we’re all pulling for your success. I am praying for you!

  13. Meg Says:

    Gotta love those small percentages and shitty stats.

    Sounds like you have a pretty good plan ahead, when is the hysteroscopy?

  14. Claire Says:

    A doctor who believes in your eggs is worth his weight in gold! You go girl! As hard as it is, just think about how much more information Dr. G has now to make your next fresh cycle a success!

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