Everyone has their ups and downs. And I’m no different.

But, generally, I’m an optimistic person.

So, I was surprised to see how many people commented on my last post that they were impressed with my positivity moving forward to our next cycle.

Maybe it’s my naiveté, the fact I can get pregnant, we’ve only tried twice, etc.

But I can’t imagine the opposite. I can’t imagine going forward with a cycle, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to try and think negative thoughts all the while.

Again, I may sound like I shit balls of sunshine or something here but to me if I wasn’t positive and didn’t have faith that this would work, why would I be doing this?

I think though deep down, whether any of us say it aloud or type it in a blog, we all have the faith, the positivity it will work. Again, it could just be me the naive imposter infertile talking, forever the Libra looking for balance and harmony…

But I like to believe you all out there are just as positive moving forward too… I hope that you are. I want all of our dreams to come true.

We deserve it.


So the phone call from my other nurse wasn’t as fulfilling as speaking with Jen, my usual nurse. Mind you, walking around the grocery store at 6 p.m. talking about cycle day 1 isn’t really conducive to me being able to write down anything either. So basically, I am just waiting for AF to start. I didn’t even bother to ask my drug protocol, anything. I’ll wait till I’m not trying to find the black beans on sale…


11 Responses to “Positivity”

  1. Cece Says:

    I was in the exact same place a month ago. We were waiting for our ER, and there was this very nice couple in the waiting room. It was her frist ER, and she looked nervous, so I was telling her how it wasn’t that scary – and she would be just fine. Turns out she was doing an IUI and got converted to IVF – and then she asked my story. And I was like, we’ve been trying for 3 years, had an ectopic, had a miscarriage – and she was like wow. You’ve been through a lot. And I was like – yeah I guess I have.

    But I’m not giving up!

  2. Kristina Says:

    And if ABBA can come back in town, anything can happen!

    I’m glad you’re thinking positively. I know there can be a lot of darkness in all of this (or so I’ve read), but your heart and mind have always managed to stay in a good place and I’m looking forward to you getting some peace back.

  3. sara Says:

    That’s funny that you said your office called when you were at the grocery store. My office always called when I was at Tar.get. It was like if I needed to get a phone call from the RE that I had been waiting for, if I went to Target it would come. I think positivity is a great thing. I realize that at times over the last two weeks I haven’t been as positive as I like. But today I found out I have some OH.SS and it didn’t really bother me like I thought it would. Maybe I’m getting back to my more positive side. You brought up some good points!

  4. B Says:

    It’s great that you are positive about this. I am not sure positive thinking makes too much of a difference, as I believe if its meant to happen it will happen regardless, but you know what? being positive cetianly won’t do any harm.

    Good luck with the upcoming cycle, I’ll be rooting for you.

  5. peesticksandstones Says:

    Shitting balls of sunshine… I love that! In my case, I think I owe it all to antidepressants.

    Thanks for reminding me, though, that somewhere deep inside me I must believe this will eventually work. It’s hard for me to connect with that belief, but it’s gotta be there. I am definitely not one to go through a lot of trouble/spend tons of money for nothing!

  6. pj Says:


    I read Denise’s blog religiously and clicked on yours from the warm and fuzzy post. I read your story, which I found very interesting. I’m starting IVF #1 um… imminently. Like, hopefully today. So we may be cycle sisters. 🙂

    I am with you on positive, but then I have not been through so much. I really credit you for your positive attitude. I’ve done three IUI’s, and can relate to the ups and downs. But you’re right, I couldn’t go through it all thinking that it wasn’t going to work.

    Anyway, I’ll be reading. Good luck to us. 🙂

  7. duck Says:

    With me, I’m positive and hopeful while I’m cycling, it’s when I’m not that fear/anxiety/negativity seep into my world. When I’m cycling, I keep saying that everything will be fine, but, when I’m not cycling and I’m battling to get back into do another cycle, because of some fault of my body or another, then is when the negative nelly raises her head.

  8. Road Blocks and Roller Coasters Says:

    I completely agree with you–you have to have a certain level of faith or belief, or hope to continue trying–why bother otherwise? Know that I’m thinking of you and hoping that this cycle brings a fantastic outcome! 🙂

  9. dagny Says:

    mmmmmm, black beans…

  10. Katie Says:

    I do think all IFers exhibit some form of positivity (faith, hope, etc), otherwise, like you say….no one would keep riding this roller coaster that is TTC. Here’s to hoping your positivity pulls through!

  11. singletracey Says:

    You are so right.. we have faith.. a ton of it.. buried deep within us. If we didnt we wouldnt keep trying…


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