Archive for February, 2010

A big ole poophead

February 9, 2010

Just a quick note to say I’m sorry if my first two posts in my return to blogging were repetitive, bitchy and woe is me.

I am happy. And, I’d like to think, a nice person. And ever so grateful for what I do have, which is A LOT.

Sorry for the poopheadedness.

One

February 9, 2010

It’s amazing to think how long it took for us to reach parenthood and how quickly our first year as mommy and daddy went…

I still have a hard time believing O turned one on Friday. I wish time would slow down just a little, I want a little more time to drink him in. From crawling to babbling to walking every stage has been my favorite. I am sure that will continue to hold true. Or, at least, until he becomes a rotten teenager. Hee.

Everyone asked what to get him for his birthday. I wanted to say a sibling. O loves other kids. Especially kids that are his sized or bigger. It is sooo sweet but it makes me get that sinking sadness about trying to get pregnant.

And we could just go the DIY route. We could. But that’s not why we decided to go the IVF route in the first place. When we started thinking years ago, it was first a matter of seeing if we could even identify my hubby’s mutation within his DNA that causes OI. If we weren’t able to, we would have then taken the 50-50 odds and tried for a homemade baby. But they found the mutation. And we could move on to IVF with PGD and prevent our child from having the disease. And it was a success. O is healthy. He doesn’t have OI. He won’t break 18 bones like daddy.

I try to remember that. I look at the pictures of my husband in a full body cast at 18 months. I can’t imagine going through that or the pain O would endure.

I know we did the right thing. I know we are doing the right thing. But it still sucks when I think about saving up the money to do a FET with our two (only 2!) healthy embryos when other couples just hop into bed and, voila, a healthy baby. No injections, no thousands of dollars…

I shouldn’t complain. I’m blessed to have my husband and my son. But it’s human nature. Or at least my bitchy nature to covet what I don’t have. I just wish they’d come up with a way to test his sperm and we could do an IUI.  

Baby on the brain.

Is it because O is no longer that little baby? My best friend and neighbor are due in June? My co-worker starting her first shot of Lupron last night? (Yeah, my office of 7 has two of us at CCRM…) I don’t know. I’m excited and happy for them all in these various stages but I wish I could be a little closer to knowing when we can start working toward baby number two, when I could be in an actual stage.

Oh, enough bitching. I didn’t start blogging again to just be a big snatch and complain about being lucky to have the husband and baby I do. But this online world is so good at being so supportive of me, bitching or not. Thanks.