Archive for the ‘FET #1’ Category

Beta #2 *Updated*

January 26, 2008

All I can say is phew!

I really wasn’t worried about the beta today, or at least I didn’t admit it to myself. Then once I got to the clinic, started talking to Denise – then I got freaked. Not because of anything she said, just the reality of what I was about to do. It didn’t help when the lab gal said people always seem more freaked out by the second beta. Thanks.

And then they didn’t call till 1 p.m.

But it was 114, which is nearly doubling. And according to Dr. Google and everything else, beta should double every 48-72 hours, which I’m in the window of. So, I am happy. I may have a little beta jealousy of all those other gals out there with BFP with big fat betas. But I try to remind myself, even with the ectopic, my little numbers kept on doubling. And its not the number that counts, just that its doubling, and the ultrasound is waaay more important.

Eek. It still seems unreal.

And I have nary a symptom. Just a stuffy nose and some mild heartburn.

*Updated*

Since several of you asked, I go in on Wednesday for an estrogen/progestrone check. From there, they will decide on adjusting my patches and suppositories. I didn’t yet ask about the u/s, since I am still a little more than a week out, according to the CCRM info on pregnancy they gave me. They schedule an u/s 2 1/2 weeks after beta #1. Or I was supposed to call them on my own and don’t know it. I figure I can ask Wednesday when the nurse calls. Thanks again for such warm, sticky and positive thoughts! 

Finally…

January 24, 2008

So when my doctor called instead of my nurse, I knew something was up.

And then he asked if I wanted the good news or the better news.

I told him both.

Unlike last time, my progesterone and estrogen levels are great. And even better, I’m pregnant. My beta today was 61. So in my unmedically trained opinion that equals a singleton. But I go in again for beta No. 2 Saturday.

I’m still shaking and excited. I just want this little one to grow, grow, grow, the numbers to double, triple and more.

I’m so overwhelmed. Speechless and amazed.

Thanks to each of you for helping me along this journey I’ve only just begun.

I’m still waiting.

January 24, 2008

Seriously. It’s 2 p.m. I’m dying to know. My stomach feels like its on fire.

They probably lost my results or something. Aaargh!

How Now Brown Cow?

January 23, 2008

First, I want to thank all of you who made such positive comments during my minimeltdown.

The ectopic has left me scarred. When I saw the brown blood, I immediately flashed to last time, when it quickly went from brown to bright red. I felt barren and silly for thinking it would work this time around.

Imagine my surprise, when all I spotted Monday was light brown. Yesterday, a scant drop here or there and today it is just the usual prometrium yuck.

I don’t want to get my hopes too high or too low. So I’m still crossing everything and am so thankful all of you are still thinking good thoughts for me as well.

And I haven’t peed on a stick. Nor do I plan to before tomorrow’s beta. I figure I’ve waited this long…

But thank you again. Keep thinking sticky. And good luck to all my fellow cyclesistas going through the wait with me.

I hate 11 dpo

January 21, 2008

I barely slept last night. I was worried. Apparently, for a good reason.

I woke up to brown spotting with a splash of pink.

The exact same day in my cycle as the bleeding that happened with the ectopic.

The clinic said there is nothing we can do but wait until Thursday. Hope it’s implantation bleeding and I have a high beta.

I am just tired of feeling like an absolute failure at this whole being a woman thing. I hate feeling defective. Broken. And sad.